Monday, January 10, 2011

Happy 1st Birthday Jace

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Well, Jace is turning ONE tomorrow. I can not believe how fast this year went. It seems like yesterday I was still pregnant with him. We had a rough year, but it was also a great year.

It all started with us moving into Josh's mom's house. We had sold our house and had no where to go. So they took us in. We were very thankful they let us take over their house. I think they enjoyed our company, and some days I miss it. I am sure they miss us. It was hard though at times. Having 4 adults, 3 to 4 children under 2 living there all at once. It is a 3bdrm 1bth home. The girls took over their room and we moved into the toy room and they moved into the guest room. And of course we had to baby proof the entire house. Somehow we all managed to get our showers in every day with no problem. And we all got along great!

Once Jace was born, things get even more rough. Having a C-Section, I could not do much for the first 6 weeks. And breast feeding was HELL! I am so sad that I was not able to experience nursing like I wanted. I did get the first 6 weeks to do it and have that connection with Jace, but it was not fun. He cluster fed every 20-40 minutes around the clock. I was sleeping on the recliner with him every single night just so I could get some sleep. He would not lay down at night, I had to hold him. It was the only place I felt safe. I tried pumping to get my supply up in hopes that he would get more and go longer, but I failed! I just couldn't do it, for some reason my supply would not come in like I wanted. But we made it through it. Once the 6 weeks was up and I was able to do more with the girls, I got this horrible pain in my back, worse than any pain I have every had. I went to the ER and found out I had gallstones. So 2 days later I had to have my gallbladder removed. That set me back another 2 weeks. I was on pain meds and recovering so I finally said I could not do it anymore. I am pretty sure I had PPD, I hid it well I think. I cried almost every night for weeks because I just wanted sleep. I had to put Jace on formula (mixed with frozen breast milk) anyways b/c of the medicine. I was pumping and tossing the breast milk while on the meds, but that was beginning to take a toll as well. So I gave in, I decided to stop all breast feeding and pumping and go strictly to formula. Once I did that, I was SO MUCH better. I was sleeping at night, Jace was sleeping longer periods and going 3 hours before each feeding. I was happy again. It was great. Yes, I missed out on that experience, but it worked out for the better in the end. At least he got it for 6 weeks and I got a little taste of what it was like to nurse your child.

We finally got our new home and were able to start working on it when Jace was 2 months old. The girls went with my mom 3 days a week and most weekends so I could work on the house. But I had to take Jace with me. I was able to find a sitter for some of the time, but when I couldn't, Josh's dad came over and sat with him while I worked. I took a break every 3 hours to feed him. He helped me out tremendously! Thanks Jack! It gave him some time to bond with Jace and me much more time to work on the house then I would have had. It only took us 2 months to get it done. And that was only because Josh's mom and step dad helped us every day they could. They knew so much more than us. Without them, not much would have been done... well... at least not correctly! Josh worked his butt off too, he did a great job and we both learned lots of new things! And thank you to everyone else who helped us, especially Tracy.

We moved into the new house when Jace was 4 months old and things started to get much better. We got things unpacked and settled in. The kids took well to it. I spent the summer/fall working on projects that needed done. I am just now finally caught up and making a NEW list! We got back on schedule and into a routine. It's good for me and the kids.

These last 12 months of watching Jace grow have been amazing. It as been so different than with the girls. I only had one baby to pay attention to. We had a lot of one on one time, him and I that is. He is my little man. He has the biggest personality. He does not cry much unless he is hungry or tired, and of course teething. He is a momma's boy though. He loves to be held and walked around with. So many smiles and laughs every day. He can be really goofy too. He LOVES his sisters most of the time. He likes to come over to me huffing and puffing when they are mean to him, he is tattling on them. He also loves to tease them. And of course, they do the same to him. But the biggest thing is how much love he has for being a 1 year old. He loves to cuddle and get attention. When he gets hurt or is tired, he will lay his head on you, sometimes pat you too. I call him my Lover Boy... he is a lover boy. He loves to love! I can't imagine life without him and I am so grateful he was brought into our lives on January 11th 2010.

Some days are extremely hard, I have to go minute by minute to survive them. But most days are so great, just filled with love and happiness! I have my moments of frustration and wondering how I am going to keep doing this, but every time I see a smile or get a kiss and hug, I realize I will do it, and I will love doing it! Good or bad, they are my four precious babies!

Thank you to Janna and Rick for supporting us and helping us this last year, and always. I only hope one day we can repay you.

Thank you to Jack for being here whenever I need you and putting up with their cries and of course hugs and kisses!

Thank you to my parents for being so great. Words can't express how much we appreciate all you do for us.

Thank you to Josh for being such a great dad and husband. I could not do any of this without you. The kids adore you and love spending time with you. And most of all, thank you for helping me bring these four precious children into our lives and completely changing it!

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